International Women’s Day
I didn’t take photos at my early appointments so here’s me at one of my scans from November 2019.
Appreciation post. Because it is needed and deserved.
I am so glad that International Women’s Day falls during Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month. It gives me an opportunity to thank all the amazing women in my life who have supported me, encouraged me and provided much love to me during my tenure as Carl’s host. I would not be where I am and who I am without my mom and my sister. And all my girlfriends! How did I get so lucky to have them in my life??? But today it’s not about them. Today is about praising 2 women who have seen me at my lowest points and make it their mission for me and others to never go through that again. Dr. Diane Reidy and Dr. Deborah Goldfrank, my oncologist and gynecologist respectively. These two women are bad ass bitches who deserve all of the accolades.
I met Dr. Reidy on Friday, June 21st. The morning after finding out I had colon cancer, not ovarian cancer. In the few hours between my colonoscopy and my appointment, I had already been told by a few people how amazing Dr. Reidy was. I remember thinking “well that’s good” but was still in a shock fog. This petite woman with so much positivity and energy walked into the exam room and I instantly breathed a little sigh of relief. (This was about 15 minutes before being officially diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and that breath getting sucked back in.) I don’t know if anyone really looks forward to their doctor appointments. Getting scans & the results causes anxiety even in the calmest of patients. But I know, as soon as I hear her yelling & cheering as she enters the room, I have the best doctor behind me. My wins are her wins. Even with set backs from low white blood cell counts and big drops in my weight she never made me feel like we weren’t winning. She has always answered every single one of my questions and patiently waits as I type the answers in my phone so I won’t forget. She also patiently listens to ALL of the questions - there is usually a laundry list of them. Even the dumb ones. Did I once ask if I could go to the movies while on chemo? Yes I did. Did she laugh at me? Only a little.
Not only is she the best oncologist at Sloan, she also is the Associate Deputy Physician in Chief of the Regional Care Network. And just for good measure, she is the President of MSK’s Medical Staff. Starting in October, she became the host of the podcast “Cancer Straight Talk from MSK” because all of the doctoring isn’t enough. On top of all that she does for her patients and everyone at Sloan, she is a mom. Her kid is so lucky to have her as a role model. She proves that being bubbly and personable does not mean you are weak.
Dr. Diane Reidy
Oh Dr. Golfrank! How do I love thee? Let me count the ways! Literally, I would if it wouldn’t be so creepy.I did not get to meet Dr. Goldfrank until 2 weeks after my surgery, 16 days to be exact. I had gotten my staples out 3 days prior and was still in rough shape. I could barely stand up straight. I walked slower than the 80-year old patients. I had to sit in the elevator. That kind of rough shape. I don’t think I made it 5 minutes into the appointment before crying to her. She did not even blink. Immediately she handed me a box of tissues and rubbed my back to help calm me down. She didn’t try to rush back to the clinical talk or move the appointment along. After a couple minutes of silence she said “I’m never not going to allow you to have an option.” (re: me getting pregnant) That’s when I knew I was in great hands. No matter the obstacles or the uphill climb, she was going to do everything and anything to help me. That is the kind of doctor I want to have for life. And she will be because I need to go to her because of her speciality.
Oh! Did I not mention her specialty? She specializes in hormone replacement for young cancer patients. It’s funny because I’m considered young in this case but if I was to get pregnant I would be considered geriatric. And because I of course deserve nothing but the best, she is the HEAD of general gynecology. She runs the show! And her show is fucking fantastic. She explains everything so you understand not just what is needed to be done but why she made the decision for you specifically. If I feel really strongly about anything pertaining to my treatment or care, she goes over all the reasons why or why not she recommends the medicine, procedure, etc. Since I don’t have answers to the big questions (Why? How? What in the actual fuck?) it’s really helpful to have answers to the more pressing questions at hand. When it comes to my infertility, it is a very sensitive subject. Because of her specialty, Dr. Goldfrank spends her days with patients talking about their most sensitive subjects (literally and figuratively). She makes it a safe space whether asking questions about sex or going over the steps of a LEEP or talking about the knock off bag you got at Target. She spends her days having really tough conversations but never gives up hope. She is someone I am proud to have in my corner. I’m sure her children feel the same way.
Dr. Deborah Goldfrank
These women are rockstars. I bow down to them. I am so grateful that I am one of their patients. It has made this whole experience that much better. These women are everything that today is about. They are smart, strong and empowering. I appreciate them every single day. Not just today. And from the bottom of my heart, I hope you are never one of their patients.