My favorite mug broke today
Shattered. On the counter. On the floor. Pieces everywhere. And just like that, my day was ruined at 8:30am.
I have two best friends, Heather and Meghan. You know Heather. She was on my Carl naming adventure. My other best friend is Meghan. We met at some point in middle school but our best friendship didn’t begin until the first day of freshman year. We’ve been through it all together. She’s the friend who is the exception to every rule. She can show up whenever she pleases. She doesn’t need an invitation to dinner. She could call me at 7am on a Saturday when she knows I want to sleep to say she wants to go do errands all day and she will be there in a half hour to pick me up. It’s that sort of best friendship.
Since 2013, I have decorated her christmas tree with her. This was the first year that didn’t happen. (Fuck you COVID.) We never really give each other big gifts. We’d rather just buy each other FFMG from the diner. (IYKYK) 3 years ago I got us matching mugs that we both had found on Instagram. It was a drawing of 2 blonde girls holding mugs in a wintery scene on one side. On the other were the words “You’re my person.” Since the day that phrase was coined by Grey’s Anatomy, it has been our slogan. She really is the person I would call to help move the dead body.
Tree decorating 2019.
After my surgery, I almost exclusively drank my tea out of that mug. It brought me a lot of comfort and a lot of smiles. When I moved back to DC I made sure to wrap that one extra carefully. It is my go-to mug for my morning coffee. Having that physical connection to her just made me feel better. Meghan just moved a couple months ago and had told me the mug got lost in the shuffle. With a 3-year-old and an infant, I could not be mad that it went missing. There were many way more important things to keep track of. I said no big deal and would order her a new one. That was a week ago.
Today was one of those Mondays where you try really hard to wake up early and attack the day but you know that is absolutely not going to happen as soon as you hear the alarm go off. I was running very behind and decided to take my shower during lunch and get cracking on my emails. Well readers, it’s lunchtime and I’m writing this instead of washing my hair so I’m really crushing it. I had my laptop booting up as I went to take out my coffee making supplies. I instinctively reached for my best friend mug and in the blink of an eye I see pieces shattered everywhere. I just stood there for a few seconds just staring at the countertop. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes as I looked at the tiny pieces at my feet. I didn’t try to hold them back. As I swept up the mess, I just let the tears stream down my face.
2019 - not my best year. 2020 - we can all collectively agree was a shit year. And now 2021 hasn’t been off to a great start. There have been many times where I felt like the broken pieces on the floor. My life shattered in an instant. Big pieces of plans and goals close together but will never be able to be fixed. Lots of tiny ideas and memories scattered in every direction. Fragments of a completely different life hiding in cracks only to be discovered later when looking for something else.
Each time I feel like my world has been shattered, my heart broken into a million little pieces, or things are coming apart at the seams, I have had Meghan by my side as I cleaned up the mess. She has always stood by and found a way to make me laugh, usually at the most inappropriate of times. She picks up my phone calls, responds to my texts, reacts to my instagram messages any time I am in need of support. Today was no exception. Feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted from all that is going on in the world, I just wanted that extra comfort only a best friend can provide. I immediately texted her about my mug and without missing a beat she told me “Yours must have been missing mine so now they’re together in mug heaven.”
It’s devastating when your favorite mug breaks or you’re told you have cancer. Your life shattered in a moment. It’s ok to cry or scream or laugh or do nothing. But you have to pick up the pieces. You have to take the next step. It’s not going to be the same and maybe not what you had planned but that’s ok. You learn and you grow. And if you’re lucky, you have someone who will wake you up at the butt crack of dawn to keep you company.